You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
