I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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