I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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