North Korea, Best Korea!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
