its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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