You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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