Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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