the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
