ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
