My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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