ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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