I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
