I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
