i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
