So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
