We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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