Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
