new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
