she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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