Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
