you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
