i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
