Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
