You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
