I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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