the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
