is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
