i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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