Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
