Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
