I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
