let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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