At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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