My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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