I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
