I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
