My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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