i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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