He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
