dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
