We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
