my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
