Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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