So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
