At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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