No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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