Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
third nipple confirmed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
