i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
