O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
