matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
